i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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