They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
