he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
