someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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