I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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