That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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