he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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