Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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