Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Sorry my hands just texted you
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
