Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
