He asked to "fluff my boner.."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
