So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
