I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and she was petting her beer can
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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