sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Fuck me I smell like cheese
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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