i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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