she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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