The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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