i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
