Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
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I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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