there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
