sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
