Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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