a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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