That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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