Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
