i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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