This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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