Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He felt like a one man threesome
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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