She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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