she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The power of my boobs compel you
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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