Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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