tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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