sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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