dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
