This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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