If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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