we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
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I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
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At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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