dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
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So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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