dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
