Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
