I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
