you will always have a special place in my vag
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
