I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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