my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
