Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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