i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
