Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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