Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i came on her dog
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
