I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
look no pants
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize