around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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