I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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