quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
