The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
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I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
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SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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