before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize