try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize