Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
