I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
