But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
