Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
