If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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