I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
