Duck Duck Cougar?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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