My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
