so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
