Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
