Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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