i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
