Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
