Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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