I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
